Inner demons…they’re those things that represent our worst fears. And they scare us to death, don’t they? We run from our fears for dear life. Well, that is if you’re like me. There were a few years there where facing my inner demons was a big thing. A HUGE thing. I was on my path of personal healing and I knew the only way to overcome the darkness and heaviness was to overcome my inner demons. Do you know how scary that thought is — In order to feel better, I had to do the scariest thing in my life.
I’ll admit, I kind of baby stepped my way through this one. Hey, I didn’t have any mentors or good books or anything to help me through the process. I did have some great friends. One of them was going through a similar path of healing from her past. She shared a brilliant idea for facing inner demons. She told me, “Invite them to tea!” She would have her inner demons to tea, sit them down, talk to them. She’d find out what they wanted and where they came from. By having them to tea they became less scary. While I found the idea brilliant, I still was afraid. It still took time to baby step through the process.
For me, what really worked was understanding what our inner demons really are. Inner demons feel like giant, vicious monsters trying to claw and destroy us. They feel like our worst fears. That’s because that’s what our inner demons are — our worst fears. The worst thing in the world would be if our worst fears came true, right? So we run. We avoid. We live in denial. And as we run away, our demons get bigger and scarier.
Let’s dig deeper into understanding our inner demons…
Our inner demons represent a part of US, the part of us that is scared! What are these fears? Most of them are “What if’s…”
- What if I’m not good enough?
- What if I’m not strong enough?
- What if I’m not beautiful?
- What if I’m not worthy?
- What if people don’t like me?
- What if I’m really, truly alone?
- What if I blow it and ruin the good things in my life?
Deep down we want to feel loved and to feel like we matter, and all of our inner demons prey on those deepest, most vulnerable fears of our heart and soul that think “Maybe we aren’t loved, and don’t matter.” Ugh, no matter we don’t like our inner demons. Double ugh! So here’s a question for you:
What do we need most when we’re afraid?
The answer is obvious: To be loved. We want to feel loved and to feel safe. So if our inner demons represent a part of us that feels afraid, what do we need most when our demons loom big and scary? Love! See, here’s the thing about our deepest darkest fears:
Inner demons aren’t the big, scary, ferocious beasts we think they are. They are soft, vulnerable, scared little kittens that want to be held and loved and reminded that everything will be okay. Our inner kittens only seem big and scary because they cast a great shadow over our life.
Think about shadow puppets, you know, where you shine a light against a wall then make shapes with your hands in the light? The shadow on the wall is MUCH bigger than your hands. Now imagine you were holding a fuzzy little kitten in the light. It would cast a big, ferocious-looking shadow. You probably wouldn’t be able to tell it was just a kitten. Well, that’s the same thing our fears do. Most of our worst fears aren’t real. They cast the shadow of fear on our lives and we do our best to interpret the meaning. Or we run.
So, how do we overcome our inner demons?
We usually think overcoming our inner demons comes from overpowering them. Out-muscling them. Not so. Our inner demons aren’t strong, they are weak, weak with fear. We overcome our inner demons by healing them, and healing their fears. Here’s how:
- Stop running. Take some quiet time to yourself. Ground yourself in a way that works for you whether it be meditating, quiet music, going for a walk or sitting in nature. Create a safe space for yourself to do some inner exploration.
- Face your demons. What are your fears? Afraid of losing someone or something? Afraid of not living up to your full potential? Afraid of not being loved or having personal worth? Name your fears. It’s okay! Naming them usually takes most of the power out of them. It’s incredibly liberating to name those fears that sit on the edge of our consciousness nagging and dragging us down. If it helps, speak the fears out loud or write them in a journal or even write them down then burn the piece of paper.
- Love your demons. Give your fears all the love in your heart. This process can take time, but loving ourselves is how we heal. When you show up for yourself and you know you’re there for you, then you create a relationship of trust with yourself where that healing can happen. Remind yourself of the deeper truths — that you are indeed worthy, beautiful and good enough. You are everything you need to be. The Infinite Universe created you and so your worth is infinite, and your beauty as divine as the sunrise and sunset. Don’t let any human or doubt convince you of anything less.
Every day you need to love yourself. Be patient with yourself and speak kindly. Treat yourself with compassion and love. If it feels like you have only a little love to give–give it. It’s that simple. Be patient and persistent.
What our inner demons need most is love, love, love. With love comes perspective & healing & the light that shines all shadows of fear away. That love must come from us, ourselves. We cannot wait on or rely on the love of others to heal us. Though the love of others helps, only we can heal our inner wounds completely. Healing takes time, so embrace the journey. Surround yourself with those who will help or at least understand or be supportive.
Let the negativity and pain bleed from your life so the light and warmth of love may dwell in your soul. I wish you all the best on your journey. May you have happiness, healing and inner peace.